Welcome to my nightmare

Further to my bad debating poetry of a few weeks back, and despite popular demand, here is some more. This is from a balloon debate, where one has to defend someone or something from being thrown out of a balloon that is rapdily descending to the ground. My chosen topic was Winston Churchill, and I survived the fray only marginally longer than socialism (losing to Scotland, Potato Lakka, and Furry Kittens). Alas, or perhaps thank God, therefore most of this was never heard...

Preamble

Apologies everyone, for I’m afraid it’s that time,
Where I try to confound you, by speaking in rhyme,
Thought you may be quite tempted, to sling me out now,
My terribly bad poetry, I beg you to allow

The preliminary defence

It’s yours to throw out, whomsoever you will
But listen to my pleas, for I’m Winston Churchill
I may not be pretty, I’m advanced in my years
But still, I can offer, blood toil sweat and tears

Roses are Red...

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
Keep me in and I’ll owe
So much to you few

When a couple have already been thrown out

The crowd in this balloon appears to be thinning,
Not the beginning of the end, but the end of the beginning,
And remember I made, many more famous speeches
I fought them on the hills, in the streets and on the beaches

A limerick

There once was a nasty dictator
A freedom, and democracy hater
He tried to invade;
But his end I soon made
So please don’t throw me out until later

Defence to objections

Now you may want me out, cos you don’t like my tricks:
Always changing party, not to mention my politics,
But I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
A man not a Liberal at twenty may have no heart; but a man not a Tory at 40 has no brain

The crap one to keep in case needed

I've lived for my country I've fought on the front,
Of this countries turbulation, I've taken the brunt,
And don't hold against me, my whisky driven pallour,
Remembered I said 'be ye men of valour'

The Grand Finale

W is for war: the one that I won
Driving away the dastardly hun

I is for Iron: I saw it descend
Cross all Eastern Europe did the curtain extend

N is for Never: before in the field,
Of human conflict, has such greatness been revealed

S is for stupid those who didn't hear
When the Munich agreement, I told them to fear

T is for trollied: which I cannot deny.
But it’s no bar to greatness to drink the world dry

O is for outrage that anyone tried
To suggest it be me, that we throw over t'side

and

N is for now: the end’s where we’re at
Please don’t throw me out, for I’d hate to go ‘splat’